Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
