no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I die, sorry about rent.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
