oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This beer is not sobering me up at all
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
