I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
