just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
