Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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