I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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