Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
