he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
