So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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