I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
