'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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