Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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