You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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