Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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