they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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