i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
