Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Randomize
