I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
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We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
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