you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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