i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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