hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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