i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize