census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
