Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
