Porn is love you can see.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
