try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
