Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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