Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
