wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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