Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do vagina's smell?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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