Me. At least after what I've been through.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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