I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
