That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
