First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
