my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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