I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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