highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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