Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
