How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A bitchslap is in order.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
