I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
