Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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