just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
