Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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