Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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