She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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