Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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