im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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