happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
