No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
