I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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