So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
