sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize