My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
