How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
