I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
