Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
