STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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