im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
