woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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