We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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